Hey, Hey

So I haven´t felt moments of frustration like I did today in a long time. Andersen Kindergarten--don´t recommend it.

It all started Monday when I finally got to go to my actual placement--Andersen Kindergarten. The school had been closed last week because they were on vacation. Within minutes of my arrival Monday, I was left alone with about 11 five year olds, 10 three and four year olds, and a few more six and seven year olds. All of the teachers and the director of the school were having a meeting, so I was left to fend for myself. (I just still can´t understand why they would wait until all of the kids were at school to have this meeting. The kids only go until 12:30, why not then?)

I will tell you that my thoughts of, "I can handle this" proved to be totally wrong. Children were running all around the tiny courtyard. The were hitting each other and wrestling, standing on the tables, and certainly not listening to a word I said. At one point, when I tried to break up one of the many "fights," one child attempted to bite me. Well, he actually did bite me but luckily my trusty North Face fleece was between my skin and his teeth. I did however get a nice bit of slobber all over my sleeve. I did not even know how to react. Turns out though that this same child would attempt to bite me on Tuesday too.

After what seems like an eternity, the teachers returned and got everyone situated in their own little seats. While the teacher in my class gave a long lecture and reading lesson, some of the children wandered around the room, yelled out, and walked out to go to the bathroom with no regard for what she was saying. Didn´t seem to bother her though. I sat in the back of the room in shock.

Tuesday was slightly better for two reasons:
1) I was given a task of handwriting the homework into each child´s notebook. Copying Spanish in cursive takes longer than I would guess.
2)I had resigned myself to the chaos. If the adults weren´t going to worry about the kids hitting each other, then I was going to try not to either.

Today, however, almost brought me to tears. The day started out with the teacher telling me that a wisdom tooth was coming in her mouth so she couldn´t talk a lot. Great. Then she tells me that I am going to teach my English lesson first thing. We were supposed to be reviewing the shapes, and then learning the parts of the face. Well, I am pretty sure most of the kids had diffculty knowing these words in Spanish let alone trying to identifying them in English. Oh well, here we go.

So I am "teaching" in my broken Spanish to a bunch of kids with blank looks on their faces. After several tries of repeating all of the words and drawing them on the board, I decide they need to stand up and move around, so I tell them to come play Simon says with me. I am trying to play with them and pointing to parts of my face and say them in English. Do any of them have any idea what is going on? Do I? One kid (same one as always) is not paying attention and wandering around the room. I make him sit by himself and tell him that he can´t play because he isn´t listening. He pouts. I wonder to myself it is the first time he has been told he can´t do that.

Now we are going to draw a funny face using shapes. I give them paper and tell them to write their names on the top. Can any of them even write their own names? Turns out, some can and some can´t. I give them instructions to use different shapes to draw a face. Could they even do this if I were speaking perfect Spanish...maybe, maybe not.

Ah, finally time for snack and recess. Though it seems like around that school all the time is time for recess. Another hour of chaos (which I try to ignore just like the other adults around are doing...it´s hard to do). Luckily, I don´t wear a watch so that I can´t watch the minutes tick away. One child keeps laughing inside in the most high ear-piercing voice you have ever heard. The floor and walls are all concrete so there is nothing to muffle the sound. The teacher says nothing. It happens again and again. The teacher says nothing. Finally, I can´t stand it and tell him to stop. He doesn´t really listen. Of course, why would he listen to an adult.

After we finish writing the homework in all of the notebooks, the teacher collects all the kids and gets them seated in their little red chairs again. She is telling them in Spanish that now they are going to review left and right with me. I get the feeling she is going to leave me alone. YEP, she does. Oh, but she tells me she will be right back. Right, just like you told me on Monday. You would think I could handle a room full of five year olds, but nope, you and I are both wrong. It is really difficult to tell them what to do when you don´t really speak enough of their language AND when they DON´T listen anyway. The order deteriorates quickly, and even the stickers the teacher left with me to bribe the kids to behave don´t work. In fact, one child proceeds to rip part of the sticker sheet out of my hands. Not really sure whether to scream, run, hide or just watch, I stood in shock for several minutes. Finally, I went out to find the teacher. I tell her in Spanish that I need help and they are not listening. She comes back and makes them sit with their heads on their desks. I just stood with my arms crossed and really could not even speak. Even though I knew it was getting close to pick up time, I wanted to run out of the school and find my own way back to the volunteer house. (Really, the thought did cross my mine).

Thank goodness---I see Pancho walking into the school to pick me up!!! SAVED! I don´t think I have ever been so happy to see someone as I was to see Pancho there to get me this morning. I muttered a fast good-bye and walked to Pancho´s car as quickly as I could. All I could manage to say to Pancho was, "today was muy mal, muy mal." I seriously needed a minute to collect myself because I wasn´t sure if I was going to yell or cry.

Finally, I was able to tell Pancho about my frustrations, but felt so bad for complaining. He reassured me that other volunteers had had many problems at that school too and he would talk to Rudy, the CCS program manager, about it. I planned to talk to Rudy about it too.

Right before lunch Rudy found me and offered to switch my placement. I think I am going to take him up on it. I just have to decide where to go. There are many other schools that seem like better options. I want to help, not waste my time or theirs.

Hey, Hey, Honeybrowne